Victor Garber Has a Comedy Ear

Posted on by mrpikes

Victor Garber Exhibit A

Victor Garber is one of my favorite actors working. I’ve been following him for years, but (slow on the uptake, true to form) it was only last week when I noticed that he has a comedy ear. Now that I’ve noticed it, I can’t stop noticing it. Several years ago I was stung on the ear by a yellowjacket while mowing the lawn. For days afterward one of my ears was preposterously swollen, but it still registered only an embarassingly distant second to Mssr. Garber’s natural asymmetry. I’m not kidding, I’ve even picked up on the fact that DPs give it special consideration when lighting scenes.

Victor Garber Exhibit B

Dude, ear.

Two Lines to Amuse Yourself When Stopped by the Local Constabulary

Posted on by mrpikes

I spend a fair bit of time commuting (these days ~ 500 miles a week). During intervals of reflection, I sometimes think about what I will say to the fellow in uniform who will, eventually, pull me over.

Peace Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Oh good! You must have found my television.

(With thanks to the chaps of Top Gear)


Gendarme: Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: I open the bidding at 73!



If you deliver either of these lines with a big, friendly smile on your face, you might even avoid getting sodomized repeatedly with a plunger handle.

Recent Submission to the City of Richmond Web Site

Posted on by mrpikes

To Whom It May Concern,

There is a pothole in the intersection of W. Broad Street and Staples Mill Road. If one is proceeding through the intersection compass direction South on Staples Mill (33E) and crosses W. Broad Street while in the left hand lane, the pothole will conveniently identify its location to you by jamming your driver’s side front tire into the wheel well, every single damn time.

Best regards,
MrPikes