So Do You, Um, Work?
When people ask me what I do for a living, I have to consider the audience. I’ve begun answering this way:
It has to do with databases. Do you wish for me to continue?
I manage a technology team for a company that collects, cleanses, integrates, packages and sells data related to businesses in the Financial, Energy, Real Estate, Media, Metals and Mining, and Insurance industries (primarily). These data are used by our clients to make informed decisions about mergers and acquisitions, investments, competitive brick and mortar locations, etc. We don’t do “people data” unless you want to stretch the definition and start classifying C-Suite denizens as people.
I like what I do. A lot. I studied data management at university, and I count myself very fortunate to have the opportunity to work in my field. All views and opinions expressed here are my own, and in no way reflect the policies, stances, culture, values or guidance of my employer or its shareholders ® ™ © AYB1.
Just Who in the Hell is MrPikes?
“MrPikes” was my first Internet handle back in the ’90s, riding on the short bus of the Information Superhighway, AOL. The World Wide Web was new and, to me, a strange and potentially dangerous place. I didn’t want to be blundering around using my actual name (whatever that is). I had heard about this “chat” thing and thought that I might want to do it. As it turned out I went into a chat room exactly once, so there wasn’t actually any point.
The name itself comes from Ray Bradbury. In several of his short stories (Usher II from The Martian Chronicles and The Tombling Day from I Sing the Body Electric!, to name two) characters named Pikes turn up. They are different characters from story to story, which leads me to believe that Bradbury just liked the way that the name sounds. I do, too.
What’s The Deal With That Spider-looking Image in Your Posts?
That, gentle reader2, is a much-reduced image of Kurt Vonnegut’s drawing of an asshole from Breakfast of Champions. I could think of no more fitting symbol for my inline [supplemental|funny|dickish] asides.
Are You an Asshole?
Does any villain ever really see himself as such? I think of my best self as compassionate, generous and funny. My alter ego MrPikes, however, is an acerbic, nickel-plated prick. The voice of MrPikes is a put on, i.e., a bit. It’s big and mean and crass, and it has swagger for days. I am not he, but writing as MrPikes provides a wonderful pressure valve.
Some of my literary heroes like Carl Hiaasen, Florence King, Mark Twain and Ambrose Bierce were probably not as wicked as their writing. But, hey, they could have been drinking babies’ blood for all I know. I’m actually a pretty nice guy who goes out of his way to be hospitable to strangers, and who believes that everyone has something to teach me (though sometimes I have to work harder to figure out what that is). Old ladies tend to think I’m a hoot.
