So I went on a three year bender after the 2016 presidential election (if the other guy1 had won, it would have likely just been a two year bender), and the MrPikes blog went on hiatus. If you have a problem with that, talk to Vincent2. What do you want, a refund?
Part of what prodded me from my torpor was the Christmas season. Specifically, sanctimonious American Christians (hey, not all of ’em; it’s just the 95 percent making the other 5 look bad) who insist on asserting that there is a war on Christmas, before offering unsolicited reminders about “The reason for the season.” I wouldn’t normally be this irritated, but clubby and ignorant is a potent cocktail, and some of these people can’t get their own fucking mythology right.
The Immaculate Conception
This is not the same as the Virgin Birth. Let’s repeat that: The Immaculate Conception is not the same thing as the Virgin Birth. Lock eyes with yourself in a mirror and say it over and over again, slapping your face after each repetition. The Immaculate Conception refers to Mary’s conception, and God’s intervention so that Mary was born without Original Sin3, thus making her a suitable vessel to bear Jesus Christ.
Calvary Versus Cavalry
Calvary, AKA Golgotha4, is a site outside Jerusalem where Jesus Christ, according to scripture, was crucified.
Cavalry, on the other hand, refers to horseback-mounted soldiers. In modern warfare, it can refer to soldiers in armored vehicles. Happily, there is an easy mnemonic for remembering this, especially for University of Virginia adherents with names like Skip and Bunny. “Cavalier” refers to a mounted soldier, or a gentleman trained in arms and horsemanship, and it is UVA’s mascot. So, unless you get confused and picture this guy nailed to a tree, you have a handy device for remembering the difference.
Take or leave, but I have tons more respect for believers who actually invest the effort to get their own stuff right. One of my favorite Bill Hicks stories is about him getting harassed by some guys after a show. They were pushing him around, saying, “Hey buddy we’re Christians and we don’t like what you said.” Hicks replied, “Then forgive me.”