Rich Whitey

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While the following error (read: hilarious fuckup) could have just as easily happened on printed ballots, given my antipathy for electronic voting machines, I am all too happy to take yet another, albeit gratuitous, swipe at them.
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Rich Whitney, the Illinois Green party gubernatorial candidate, was dismayed to learn that his name was misspelled as “Rich Whitey” on electronic ballots in 23 of Chicago’s 50 wards. Half of the machines with the misspelling are in predominately black wards and there is not time to correct the error before election day.

Though polling indicates that Whitney would garner a mere two percent of the votes, he is (somewhat) understandably unhappy about the misspelling. If it were me, I would be trying like hell to incorporate this as a campaign feature. I would post flyers all over the affected wards with slogans like “A rich whitey is moving into the Governor’s mansion anyway. Vote Rich Whitey!”, or “Vote Whitey! He’s Green!”

Never undervalue how grateful people are to laugh.

Soylent Tagliatelle is Black People

Penguin Group Australia is reprinting 7,000 copies of the Pasta Bible because one recipe calls for “salt and freshly ground black people.”

This reminds me of a Freudian slip I committed recently while having brunch with my father.

What I meant to say was:

Dad, will you please pass the pepper?

What came out was:

You lousy prick, you ruined my childhood.

Previously.