Fourteen Days of FAIL – Day 8
Fourteen Days of FAIL – Day 7
Fourteen Days of FAIL – Day 6
Line up ladies, he’s single.
Fourteen Days of FAIL – Day 5
For those who require an explanation…
Fourteen Days of FAIL – Day 4
…and a 10 from the Polish judge.
Fourteen Days of FAIL – Day 3
Fourteen Days of FAIL – Day 2
Fourteen Days of FAIL – Day 1
“FAIL” is my new favorite Internet meme. FAIL is when you do a spectacular face plant in front of the girl you were hoping to impress. When your ribald joke deeply offends the boss’s wife, you are full of FAIL.
Shart? FAIL.
For the next fourteen days, MrPikes is proud to present some of his favorite images of FAIL (without fail), starting with this one:
Is This Because of the Al Qaeda?
I take an interest in security, from the perspective of “What is the threat, how effective is a given security measure at dealing with that threat, and is the trade off of convenience, liberty or whatever worth it to those who have to interact with the security measure day to day?”
From the previous question posed, what requirement is not met?
When confronted with a particularly egregious, invasive or pointless security measure, I have taken to asking the “person in charge” (be that a receptionist, security staff member, police officer, etc.) with wide-eyed, straight-faced concern, “Is this because of the Al Qaeda?” Sometimes they catch on immediately to the fact that they have a smartass on their hands *, other times they respond with genuine reassurance. Regardless, the reactions are always fun. It’s not unlike a Buddhist koan, in that it may arrest the person from hus preconceptions regarding the basis or efficacy of the security measure at hand. Or not.
I’m sick and tired of hearing “In these troubled times in which we live…” or “In this post-9/11 world…” Those overworked talking points only serve to delay us from returning to some sort of baseline of common sense. It is impossible simultaneously to live in a free society and be 100% secure. I do not mean to say that we should do nothing, but we need to swing the pendulum away from reactionary, intrusive, high-visibility/low-effectiveness, fear mongering security measures that are stomping all over what makes this country great. I sincerely believe that Americans simply have not reached the tipping point where fear turns to anger, beyond which they will fight these intrusions – with their votes and their dollars.
Sooner would be better. Maybe we would have been better off if Richard Reid had been the “underwear bomber“.
* A couple of years ago I was in line at a security checkpoint in O’Hare when a TSA employee saw the “Selectee” code on my boarding pass and informed me, “Sir, you have been selected for special screening.” I let a big smile grow across my face and with enthusiasm said, “Really? I never win anything!” I watched his mind work for a few seconds, “Idiot or smartass? Idiot or smartass? Yep. Smartass.”
Playing Tricks
Recently I was running an errand when a sign caught my eye. As I drove closer, the sign persisted in saying what it said. I actually wondered, “Is there a big market for that sort of thing? Do people come in on their lunch hour, or what?”
Last night I was watching the Lost season finale (pretty much the only broadcast television I’ve watched in a month) when I saw a commercial for Breyers ice cream. I swore the package said “Double Chum“. Again with the thinking, “Is there a big market for that sort of thing?”
After I finished being amused, I remembered when I was 18 and spent a summer teaching magic at a performing arts camp outside of Hancock, New York. The only entertainment after the campers went to bed (aside from fucking other staff) was the only bar within walking distance, whose sole reason for existing was us. It was named, simply, SALOON, spelled out on the face of the structure in a Western, wanted-poster-style font:
At any sort of distance, it read SHLOON, which was what everyone called it and inevitably pronounced it after we had had a few anyway.
Heh.
THE ALGORITHM IS WHY IT BURNS WHEN I PEE
It Tolls for Thee
The Smoking Gun posts mug shots, confidential documents, transcripts, legal filings, rock band riders – all kinds of lurid material. One of my favorite mug shots – actually, one of my favorite images ever – is of Patrick Tribett, arrested for huffing paint. The image has such gravity I can only look at it for short periods.
Amazingly, the Smoking Gun recently located another mug shot of a fellow arrested under similar circumstances to our Mr. Tribett. The image is not iconic in the way that Mr. Tribett’s is, but nevertheless captures its subject poignantly.
Some would say that while publishing celebrity mug shots is fair game, posting images of regular people is cruel. Someone makes a dumb mistake (NSFW) and it lives on the Internet forever (well, 17 years and counting). People change, forgive, forget, and move on, but the Internet never forgets.
I do not disagree, but the genie is out of the bottle. The reality is that our actions now have searchable memories, so it’s best on general principles to keep your footprint small, and try not to become a meme.