In honor of Easter Week, one of my loyal readers sent this to me and, wow. I…wow.
Last year I complained about religious action figures not coming with enough cool accessories and, while I am grateful to be heard, I never said anything about creepy, glow-in-the-dark hands.
With hands like that, I’ll bet Jesus could heal the lame by the simple expedient of scaring them shitless.
Jesus: Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.
Cripple: Aaaah! Okay, I’m up! I’m up! Get the fuck away!
The loaves, fishes and amphora (dude, just look it up) are pretty cool, but I would have maybe preferred the Spear of Destiny and a big honking boulder, or perhaps an accompanying action leper with removable sores.
Anyone listening?
Oh my gosh!!
The zombie-hands would make me want to remain lame or mute or covered with sores.